I know how he feels
by elly32
Summary: Short song-fic about my two favorite pairs: J/S and B/T.


_Lately I've been rediscovering a wonderful singer- Reba McEntire. I wrote this story inspired by one of Reba's songs- I know how he feels._  
_Hope You'll like it :)_

_As always: I apologize for any mistakes in grammar/spelling I've made!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the song nor the characters used in this story_

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" Here's to you my dear. You were truly marvelous " John Philip McCain III smiled at me with one of his patented smiles. That's a smile that made him the most attractive politician on Capitol according to Washington Post.

" It's truly brilliant„ he said warmly, while his heated eyes took in my figure dressed in the evening dress chosen specially for this occasion.

I suddenly felt flushed and thanked heavens that we're not alone. That smile and that look really could melt any woman defenses.

I breathed deeply seeing that for a moment discussion with one of his friends absorbed his attention .  
I had time to pull myself together.

Actually, now, when my work was already done I wasn't that much interested in complexity of the game going on Capitol. I've realized a while ago that politics wasn't a game for me. I turned my attention off when I heard congressman next words being uttered: [I]acts, the voting[/I].  
Instead of listening to that I started looking around the restaurant.

„ Mario's „ has always been one of the most elegant places in Washington, getting the table here was something akin to miracle.  
It's been so long since I had been here last time, since when I'd been in Washington.

And then in the middle of restaurant I heard his voice

" To Sue and Sparky!"

My heart froze. It's not possible. It's not real. And yet I didn't have any doubts, that voice, that accent! It couldn't be anyone else. I turned my head discreetly to the side.  
There!  
Sitting by the table a bit to the right from ours.  
He was there.  
He sat not quite 5 meters from me.  
The one and only special agent Bobby Manning

_When I heard that familiar voice_  
_My heart stopped dead in it's tracks_  
_Across the room I could see him there_  
_A ghost from my past_

He's not noticed me yet. And to be honest,I didn't know whether it pleased me or not. I felt little relieved, and little disappointed at the same time. After all not long ago he'd been able to sense my presence from across the room. Now I was only another person in the crowded restaurant. I moved gently in order to get a better look. He sat among his friends. Among the people I'd known in the past.

They're all crowded around the table: D with Donna, Myles with some charming blond, Lucy in the company of the tall black-haired man which I think I had met. His name was Ted or maybe Tim. Next to them Sue, Jack, Tara, and Bobby. I smiled slightly noticing how close to each other Sue and Jack sat how her hand lied peacefully in his. They couldn't take their eyes from each other and it made me wonder whenever those two love birds finally decided to confess their feelings. I would be glad if that was the case. They fit together perfectly. They were so in love.

My eyes then again turned to Bobby. He seemed to be content, even happy sitting surrounded by his friends. It pleased me but still I started wondering. Was he alone? Did he have somebody? Did some woman caused his smile? That thought made me aching. Thinking about him being happy with somebody else, building a life with somebody else. I's tempted to just walk up to them with some witty greetings on my lips. Their company seemed to be much more attractive than the youngest congressman of Washington.

_But he's too caught up to notice me_  
_She must be his new love_  
_I never dreamed that it would hurt this much_

Musicians started playing some romantic melody and I looked fascinated as Jack and Sue together rose from her table. The sparkle on Sue's finger caught my attention. There was no doubt. It explained all: joyful moods, dresses and the champagne. Sue and Jack were engaged.

It's great. I was happy for them. Really. They looked together perfectly, her fair hair right by his dark, her slender body in his strong arms.

And still. I looked at my own hand deprived of any rings with rising doubts. Since my departure whenever I'd had any doubts about my choices I'd always managed to silenced them by working. Now however seeing him after nearly two years and watching Sue and Jack being so happy so in love I couldn't stop myself from wondering what could have been.

I felt my hopes rising .

Maybe not all was lost. Bobby was here alone, both Lucy and Myles were with partners and he was alone. It had to mean something right? I didn't think much about Tara, since I'd never seen here with anyone on official receptions .

" So beautiful " my neighbor, an elderly wealthy lady who was a member of at least several different foundation didn't seem interested in the conversation rolling by our table. Instead with the daydream expression she watched dancing pairs, especially Sue and Jack.

„ Fiancés, young love- could you ever imagine anything more beautiful, more important?" she asked rhetorically.

I hat to agree with her.

_As long as I kept him outta sight_  
_I kept from going out of my mind_  
_Tried to believe that leavin' him_  
_Was somehow justified_  
_But tonight there's no denying_  
_What a love like his is worth_

By now all of them were on the dance floor next to Sue and Jack. I watched hurt as Bobby reached for Tara and tugged her along with him despite her protests.

It didn't have to mean anything.

After all they both came alone and Bobby was too much of a gentleman to let her stay at a table. However my heart tightened painfully seeing how his arms enveloped her waists and her head rested on his shoulder.

" It doesn't have to mean anything" I repeated quietly to myself watching them moving together in a perfect synchronization.

It was strange because I could clearly recall that Myles'd had a habit to call Tara Tippy- toes because of her complete lack of dance abilities. Today however dancing with Bobby she didn't seem to be Tippy-toes at all.

„ Uh-huh, it must be love " an elderly lady stated transferring her gaze toward Bobby and Tara

„ What make you think so? " I asked curious

„ Dear child, just take a look on their feats" she suggested.

My eyes soared toward Bobby's feet. Tara's feet in her high- heels were resting on his bringing them even closer.

" I believe that this young girl doesn't feel very confident about her dance abilities, so her partner helps her„ an elderly lady continued her explanation " trust me dear no man will go so far risking his feet only for a dance. He must be really in love in order to suggest and pull off something so romantic " she stated .

I felt my heart sinking . Bobby smiled looking at blond head nestled on his chest. His arms kept her close, very close as if attaching her to him. They promised to shelter her, to protect her . Her petite figure seemed extremely fragile next to his tall one. He looked at her the same way Jack looked at Sue, as if they were here alone, as if she's the only thing that matters in his world.

I knew that look, I've dreamed of it, I've prayed to see it.

_He once looked at me_  
_The way he's looking at her_  
_What a lucky girl_

I averted my gaze feeling lonely. I was afraid that I would do something drastic like bursting into tears.

„ Darcy, Darcy" John restored my attention "excuse me I got lost for awhile" I responded with effort "Did you say something?"

"I simply asked if you want to dance" John smiled his perfect smile.

I watched him closely. He was handsome, intelligent, rich, young very promising politician.

He was a dream come true for every girl.

Every apart from me.

Because he wasn't Bobbie.

And I could bet that he would never make me feel the way Bobby did: safe, loved, respected, adored. He wouldn't kiss me so gently and with such passion, he wouldn't fight on my side so fiercely.

„ No, but thank you. I guess I'm a little tired" I refused him reaching for my bag "I must rest, tomorrow I have an early fly to LA. Thank you for a lovely evening"

John nodded his head accepting my excuse.

Before I got up an elderly lady stopped me by putting her wrinkled hand on my own

" I'm so sorry my dear" she whispered with sympathy

" So am I" I managed to say through a lump in my throat.

Letting him go has been the worst decision in my life.

_I know how he feels_  
_How warm his touch is_  
_Oh how he feels_  
_How soft his kiss is_  
_And it cuts right down to the bone_  
_'Cause I let him go_  
_I know how he cares_  
_How strong his love can be_  
_When he believes it's real_  
_Oh I've been there_  
_And I know how he feels_

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**_REVIEW? PLEASE?_**


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